Yes, it's been a while.....

I apologize for it has been a long while since I last posted something on this blog.

I've been busy with school and internship. I am interning at Seattle Mental Health and it is a very enriching learning experience. School is going good. It's keeping me out of trouble. Ashley and Sunshine are doing good. The cats are still raising feline hell. They're adorable!

A lot has happened but I am not going into details.

Iraq *sigh*

Bush - still an idiot

Republicans, I sincerely hope you will see the grave errors you have been making and learn from them. I am still waiting for Congress to step up and do the right thing by impeaching Bush. Finally the Democrats have control of Congress and it is up to them to undo the damage done by the Bush adminstration.

Until then and in the meantime.....

Live free, my friends.

I was only trying to help!

Why is that whenever I try to help a situation like this, it takes a turn for the worse?! Do the things I do show selfish intentions? Do the things I do show I do not care? My helping ways apparently need to be repaired. Do they?

Son of a bitch!

*sigh* I absolutely hate it when Ash and I have a disagreement via our sidekicks. Especially when we're over a thousand miles apart. I said it was a miscommunication and she said it was no communication. Either way, it was not perfect communication. I'm not sure what happened. I don't know but all roads seem to lead to me. Did I actually screw up or did something go out of whack? I emailed Ash and Tim my suggestion. Just hope I will be able to get out of this with my head still attached to my neck.

El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciúncula

Los Angeles, the name rings of Hollywood and beaches. The name also rings of smog, trash, cosmetic surgery, and crime. Los Angeles is "The Angels" in Spanish. The full name is El Pueblo de Nuestra Señora la Reina de los Angeles de Porciúncula meaning The Town of Our Lady the Queen of Angels of the Little Portion. Perhaps the educational system there is so bad, they can't even spell the full name.

There is a river there called the Los Angeles River and every damn time I see it, there is no water. It has a concrete bottom and walls. A river? Please!

Hollywood - home to the Walk of the Stars and tourist shops. Not to mention that it is also dirty. Dirtier than the toliet bowl in my apartment after I shit in it.

Tomorrow, father and child will fly down to L.A. Bring on my death sentence. Last meal: Bush's head on a platter covered with Texas BBQ sauce.

Gonna be some fun involved though.

Dingleberries!

Summer's going good. Except that the child is being a stubborn pain in the arse. Ashley came up with a behavior chart and it's going okay. Sunshine and I got into an argument today. It's starting to have a toll on my sanity.

Tres, Tim, and the boys are coming here next month! I'm so excited!

Father and child are flying to the dry wasteland we call L.A. on the 27th to visit child's mother's family. Yeah, the desert, baby! (yeah right)

Ash and I got into a fight last night and I've been thinking about it all day today.

This day sucks. It sucks big time!

Summertime is approaching...

School's out for the summer!!!! Posted my highest GPA this quarter. Yee haw!

Got my bike fixed and been having fun riding it. Almost hit a few trees, yep, I'm back, baby! Gotta go to store and get letter stickers for my bike. The bike belonged to my foster brother who got hit by a train and did not survive. I will put his name on my bike to remember him.

My kid's school ends on Wednesday for the summer. Fun awaits!

Ash and I are doing wonderful! We've been spending time together alot. Last night we had a family night and it was awesome!

Can't wait for Ian's birthday and surprise him with my gift.

Ash, I love you! :-*

Till then and enjoy life in the meanwhile.

My poor brain

Don't ya hate it when ya get the feeling there is something up at a certain time or on a certain day but you just cannot remember to save your life then what's worse, it could end up being something very important or actually nothing is happening?!?

I'm going through this....argh!

I bloody hate it.

The performance

Last night, I, along with others, gave a performance and we kicked ass! It all started when Howie Seago advertised acting classes taught by him. For those who do not know him, he's a professional actor with a plethora of acting experiences. Anyways, we've been taking classes for 12 weeks and it ended with an awesome performance. We started off with skits and I felt that Katybeth and I really did an awesome job as did everybody. Gerardo played a character that was opposite of him. He nailed it. Seriously nailed it! Amy did an awesome job pretending to cry on stage. Ryan, a Deaf-Blind guy, acted with Patrick and wheeee, they pulled it off very good.

Intermission

Then we did sign inflections and did a dance jig. We started off with regular signs then using the same signs, we signed three times fast then slow motion. After that, we did our signs in slow motion that changed to fast motion. We signed our signs but with errors and some errors made the audience laugh. Then we ended with a dance jig. The audience enjoyed the performance. We enjoyed performing in front of them. It was an awesome experience. Howie's talking about an advanced acting class. I'm there!

Beer and a dipstick

Bloody hell, my kid had a bad day behavior-wise. I am so looking forward to when she turns 13. Yeah right, I'm begging for suicide!

Row, row, row your boat
Down the stream
Merrily, merrily
Life is but a dream

In some ways, life is a dream or a nightmare. Your call, amigo.

I am looking forward to August when my sister, bro-in-law, and my two nephies embark upon a trek to visit us. There is a catch. That is if the gas price goes down. Somewhere, an oil executive is sitting back and smoking a cigar. His pants are down and if you peek over the desk, you'll see George H. W. Bush giving him a blowjob with a dipstick up his ass.

Clark's Chambers Bed n' Breakfast Inn - what an awesome place. It's owned and managed by an elderly couple and they were very, very sweet. We enjoyed our stay there very much! We could see the water and the Dungeness Spit from one of the two windows in our room. I still think about that weekend.

That is it for now.

Till then.

Live free.

Enjoy life.

Drink a bottle of beer.

Judge and the jury

People judge. People talk. People have their own opinions. People are people.

Ash and I - our relationship is ours and ours alone. There are alot of things about us that we do not share with people and basically, we are being judged without them having all the facts. That's fine with me as long as we know the truth.

The jury is out.

The verdict:

They are also being judged.

As the sea caresses the shore.....

Wheeee...it has been a long, long while.

First of all, Ash and I are back together. After we broke up, I started working on some things about myself and Ash was doing the same. We realized what was missing from our relationship and now our relationship is stronger than ever. We're deeper in love. In fact, we found out Ash was pregnant and we were excited. We had our weekend at a bed n breakfast inn in Sequim and talked about alot of things. Pure honest things. Unfortunately, Ash had a miscarriage but it made us realize that we do want to have a baby together.

School is going good. Keeping me out of trouble and I am feeling a little burnt out.

Father and child are doing so much better ever since I sat down with her and talked for three weekends in a row. Her behavior is better and the change in her is noticeable.

I still adore my apartment!

Geronimo and Kolohe are fine. Still raising feline hell...something they do best.

Last weekend, I went to a family retreat and it was a blast. Met other parents and friends also. Howie came to me and said that he was thinking of having me give a workshop how to work with Deaf children. I felt honored but at the same time, I need to talk to him about some things.

Will post again tomorrow night as tonight, schoolwork took longer than I thought.

Bush is becoming stupider with every passing second! Come on, impeach that monkey of a president already!

Iran, way to go!

Canada is looking alot better than the U.S. of Assholes.

Money talks and bullshit walks. That's bullshit.

Befriending feelings

A dear friend of mine gave me this:

Today I befriend my feelings without judgment. If I am lonely or depressed, I need not act on that feeling, seeing it as unrecovered, then going through complicated mental machinations to change it. Instead I give it space and observe it, knowing that this process will have a transforming effect. I allow myself to feel other than what I am supposed to feel. I give room to a feeling and befriend it rather than push it away with impatient, intolerant thoughts. My feelings follow a pattern. Rather than control them, I simply watch as a feeling arises, intensifies, hangs around inside of me and lifts all of its own accord. I need not rush my own process of life today. I can be with it. I can allow it to be with me. I can be fully human and alive.

I observe my feeling process rather than control it.

Empty beer bottles

Where do I start?

The free car did not pan out as it did start but did not turn over. Came to find out that the fuel pump was busted. $600 to fix it. I felt that first $600 then how much more money will I end up spending on the car. I know it's a good car but nah, I went with my gut feeling. My friend felt bad about the whole thing. Oh well.

I love my new apartment! It's spacious.

Clean.

Quiet.

More windows.

And I absolutely adore my little backyard. I saw so many birds and a few squirrels.

Ash and I are doing good. We're good friends now.

Last Friday, I celebrated St. Pat's day with style. Wheeee....one hour waiting in line to enter the Owl n' Thistle Irish pub and it was worth the wait.

Father and child are doing good. Last night, we had a good talk and will talk more tonight.

Today's the first day of Spring! Yee haw!

Next month, I'm gonna plant sunflowers (courtesy of Ash) in my little backyard. Can't wait for them to grow and bloom.

I've consumed so much beer in the last two weeks. I think I could make a bottle version of the Great Wall of China. I ain't complaining.

Cracked tears

*sigh* It's been a week since my love and I decided to end our relationship. I still have reservations about ending it but we agreed that something was missing. My relationship with my daughter was also a factor. The last week has been painful. I miss having her as my better half. We're still good friends and that's important. The last week, my heart was aching, my eyes were crying, and my emotions were going haywire.

I miss her

I miss us

I miss her comforting touch

Slowly I am starting to heal but my heart breaks every now and then.

Miluji te taky! I always will love you no matter what happens.

Sonnet 18

One of my all time favorites:

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date.
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed,
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimmed;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st,
Nor shall death brag thou wander'st in his shade
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st.
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

Miluji te taky!

A car and a new address

Again, this is an interesting year so far. A good friend of mine asked me if I needed wheels. He said that it's free. Went to check the car out. Now I'm researching for insurance quotes. The car's nice. Sone dents here and there but the interior's clean. Only things that need to be fixed are one of the headlights, one of the taillights, the windshield (this can wait), and I think that's it.

Ash's car got stolen from my apartment complex couple of weeks ago. Last year, her car got broken into and the stereo was stolen. Now this and it was the last straw for me. Stolen cars then what? I got a kid to protect. The officer told me that stolen cars are regular in this area. Bloody hell. It was when I decided that we were moving. That's it. My girlfriend's car got broken into and stolen. I wasn't gonna wait and see what else was gonna happen.

I have my eyes on an apartment right now. Two bedrooms and plenty of space for $650 a month. Good deal. It also has sliding doors that goes into a little outdoor space out back. Perfect for my cats. The only thing is that the bathroom has a purple bathtub, purple toliet, and a purple sink. My sister told me she was gonna send me Minnesota Vikings stuff for the bathroom. The team colors are purple and yellow. Funny.

A long lost friend IM'ed me last night to my surprise. Last year, I started getting back in touch with people and I am slowly doing it. I IM'ed her some time ago and she quickly signed off. I knew there was a price to pay for doing this, ya know. Come to find out she did not have my new screen name. It was a very nice surprise.

Till then

Enjoy life and live free! :-)

This is freakin' B.S.!!!!

I do not know about y'all but 2006 is starting out to be, uhh, what's the word? Let's just say some of us are looking forward to 2007. If anyone has a real bad start to a new year, then come on over.

Ash, my love, well, her cousin committed suicide. I just met him over Christmas weekend. That was soon after New Year's Day. Her uncle Scott was taken to the hospital for numerous surgeries. His daughter found him lying on the floor and if it wasn't for her, he would not have celebrated Christmas with Ash and her family. It was from his drinking and smoking. Ash's cousin who lives in Portland passed away then Ash's grandpa's wife's mother passed away and it does not end here. Ash's aunt's friend was killed in a car accident in Issaquah.

I feel for her family, seriously I do. I just hope I can be there for her and them in any way I can.

I also feel that I am gonna lose my mother within a couple of years. She has MS and it's been over a year since she was informed of it. I can see the toll it's taking on Mom. Hell, my Mom was spanking the shit outta me for a long while and now, she struggles to hold a fork and bring it to her mouth.

As for me, 2006 started out okay. I lost some weight. I started school. Ironically, for a man who is trying to improve on communication, I'm taking a class that focuses solely on communication and partnership.

Yesterday, Ash and I got into a fight. This year does not feel right at all, ya know.

Ya know, Ash keeps telling me to be careful and its for all the right reasons. I grew up doing stunts. I damn near broke my neck one time and my Mom saw the whole thing. I just know that every time I went to bed, my parents went outside to the shed and cursed at my BMX bike. I've gotten so many head concussions. I lost count. I don't remember. I ain't kidding. But this year, I'll be extra careful. Apparently, I got a lot of reasons to live for and two females are the reasons. My girlfriend and my daughter.

Silence she wants and silence she will get.

This year has got me thinking about alot of things.

Craziness galore!

Hey there, been busy with school. Apparently there is some problems going on with school right now that I am hoping to have smoothed out ASAP. It's about my internship. Somehow I forgot to do one important thing and, well, that probably was the X factor for this whole thing *sigh*.

Father and child are doing good.

Me and my love are doing good also. Except for last night, we got into a "discussion". I started it. I got it out of my system. I'm trying to get better at this communication thing. In the past, I'd never said something about something like this, ya know.....just let sleeping dogs lie. Let's just say last night, I wasn't too crazy about the dogs.

Love's great....seriously, it's great.

Had some good alone time with Ian. Thank you, Ian, for being there.

4 teams will play this weekend and only 2 will come out as the victors. Gonna be a fun weekend.

I got a nice email from a guy I used to know at Youth Leadership Camp back in '90. That was the first communication between us since, uhh, forever.

Last weekend, had a very nice relaxing night with my love. We watched "The Wedding Crashers" and it was very funny. Also watched "11:14" and it was an "interesting" movie. I didn't like the ending, though.

Bush's still an asswipe. Spying on people, there goes the Bill of Rights. Bloody hell. Hey, Bush's spies, if you're reading this, go and kill Bush. you'd be doing the American people a great favor!

My sweet Lady Liberty, how I cry for you.

The Dalai Lama said, "Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other." Miluji te!

*sigh* 2006 and the world has not changed one bit

Been a while, ain't it? Started off the new year with the worst hangover I've had in a long time. Stayed in bed all day which is something I have not done in a long while. It was actually nice.

School started on the 4th and already the work is piling up.

My kid's been good lately but yeah she has her moments *sigh*