Befriending feelings

A dear friend of mine gave me this:

Today I befriend my feelings without judgment. If I am lonely or depressed, I need not act on that feeling, seeing it as unrecovered, then going through complicated mental machinations to change it. Instead I give it space and observe it, knowing that this process will have a transforming effect. I allow myself to feel other than what I am supposed to feel. I give room to a feeling and befriend it rather than push it away with impatient, intolerant thoughts. My feelings follow a pattern. Rather than control them, I simply watch as a feeling arises, intensifies, hangs around inside of me and lifts all of its own accord. I need not rush my own process of life today. I can be with it. I can allow it to be with me. I can be fully human and alive.

I observe my feeling process rather than control it.

Empty beer bottles

Where do I start?

The free car did not pan out as it did start but did not turn over. Came to find out that the fuel pump was busted. $600 to fix it. I felt that first $600 then how much more money will I end up spending on the car. I know it's a good car but nah, I went with my gut feeling. My friend felt bad about the whole thing. Oh well.

I love my new apartment! It's spacious.

Clean.

Quiet.

More windows.

And I absolutely adore my little backyard. I saw so many birds and a few squirrels.

Ash and I are doing good. We're good friends now.

Last Friday, I celebrated St. Pat's day with style. Wheeee....one hour waiting in line to enter the Owl n' Thistle Irish pub and it was worth the wait.

Father and child are doing good. Last night, we had a good talk and will talk more tonight.

Today's the first day of Spring! Yee haw!

Next month, I'm gonna plant sunflowers (courtesy of Ash) in my little backyard. Can't wait for them to grow and bloom.

I've consumed so much beer in the last two weeks. I think I could make a bottle version of the Great Wall of China. I ain't complaining.

Cracked tears

*sigh* It's been a week since my love and I decided to end our relationship. I still have reservations about ending it but we agreed that something was missing. My relationship with my daughter was also a factor. The last week has been painful. I miss having her as my better half. We're still good friends and that's important. The last week, my heart was aching, my eyes were crying, and my emotions were going haywire.

I miss her

I miss us

I miss her comforting touch

Slowly I am starting to heal but my heart breaks every now and then.

Miluji te taky! I always will love you no matter what happens.

Sonnet 18

One of my all time favorites:

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate.
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date.
Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimmed,
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimmed;
But thy eternal summer shall not fade
Nor lose possession of that fair thou ow'st,
Nor shall death brag thou wander'st in his shade
When in eternal lines to time thou grow'st.
So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee.

Miluji te taky!